One Challenging Week

Guess I owe an explanation why I haven't update this blog more than a week.. Well, of course it's an excuse but I bet you it's a good one..hehe..

This whole week was a really challenging week for me. For a start, I got very bad flu last Saturday. In fact the whole family were down with flu starting from Adik Hafiz. But being toddlers, Adik Hafiz and Abg Hakim were still active and cheerful even with runny nose. It's just me and hubby felt quite uncomfortable as our nasal area felt congested and heads felt heavy.

It was quite some time since I got my last flu.. maybe during uni time..so I guess this virus must be a very strong one. I snooze furiously all day long..It was quite bad really until I got to take MC on Monday.Hubby got better earlier because he religiously took two tablets of Shaklee Vita-C and get some rest.

Talking about work, I had few presentations to be delivered a monthly report to complete and a tedious analysis to be finalized within this week and I got only 4 days. With the running nose, pile of work and I could not really focus on my analysis at work (meetings to attend, other staff needs assistance, boss intermittently asking this and that), it ended up with two sleepless nights. Man, it was so pack, tough and very stressful.

Actually I managed to refrain myself from bringing my work home all these while as for me, at home is time for family and other things.Well, it's work life balance principle :).But this week I had no choice. Sorry dear hubby, Abg Hakim and Adik Hafiz.

But amazingly,my family is very supportive. Macam faham-faham jer, both kids were well behaved. Abang Hakim sangat baik, mendengar kata, main ngan adik Hafiz elok-elok, senang bagi apa adik nak. Terhibur kejap tengok diorng main gurau2.
Abang Hakim siap voluntarily nak baca Iqra' dan sempat ajar adik Hafiz lagi baca Alif ngan Ba. :) Adik Hafiz pun Alhamdulillah tak meragam pun eventhough dia selsema.

Hubby was also very charming, sabar je dengar kita mengadu masalah kerje even though dia pun ada tonnes of problems yang nak difikirkan. Hubby even siap hidangkan breakfast for me on Friday as I was rushing to complete my presentation materials.

I was a bit demotivated  for a while due to some people's remark at work. Tapi pape pun, the best thing to do is mengadu to Allah Almighty dengan sepenuh hati. Nak nangis pun nangis lah masa tu. And remind back myself that kita buat kerja bukan kerana nak dapat pengiktirafan orang tapi usaha kerana Allah. A motivator I met recently during teambuilding session always said, apa-apa pun Tuhan tauu. I will always remember your 5 key principle Mr. Alfonse!! Ego must go, Rubish must throw, Control situation, Tuhan Tau and Better because of me.

Alhamdulillah, the week turns out OK, Allah mudahkan segala urusan. Cuma ralat x pergi Usrah this week sebab rasa kerja banyak sangat. Tapi bila fikir balik boleh je pergi sebab bila kita spend time untuk zikrullah, insyaAllah Allah akan mudahkan urusan dunia kita kan? Nampak sangat keyakinan kat situ tak mantap lagi.

Managed to go through this hectic and stressful week without pengsan or demam, Alhamdulillah. With lots of Shaklee Vita-C untuk kurangkan selsema and Shaklee Performance Drink for all of us to retain enough liquid in our bodies. Additionally Abang Hakim ngan Adik Hafiz consumed Omega Guard while myself amek Nutriferon to boost my antibody. Alhamdulillah the Imam Mudas already got much better now, our flu (mine and hubby's) already gone and batuk saya pun tak teruk. And of course my basic supplements ( B-Complex and Vitalea) and madu tak tinggal.

Lagu penghibur hati dan penyuntik semangat for me to overcome all the challenges this week is Menuju Wawasan from UNIC. Suka sgt lagu ni. Hope you'll enjoy it too :)

Menuju Wawasan from UNIC

Wawasan diri penuhi dada dengan ilmu
Wawasan agama bekalan masa depan dan akhirat
Kuat usaha jujur dan amanah
Sentiasa mengharapkan keredhoan Allah

umat islam harus cemerlang hari
ini mesti lebih baik dari semalam

Jangan buang masa
siapa kata kita tidak boleh
kita ada Allah maha kuasa
kita punya kuasa tenaga
doa sebagai senjata
umat islam sentiasa boleh

umat islam zaman lampau
taat perintah Rasulullah
bersama berusaha bersatu tujuan wawasan
wawasan dunia dan akhirat

aqidah ibadah harus sempurna
ibadah tanpa aqidah wawasan syaitan
ulama' warisan ambiya'
pegangan mereka harus diikuti
ajaran sesat wajib hindari

umat islam harus cemerlang hari ini
umat islam sentiasa boleh

akhirnya islam cemerlang seluruh dunia

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Blessing In Disguise - Part 2

Continuation from Blessing In Disguise - Part 1.

Well, this is how he looked like when the on duty doctors in the ICU had stabilized Adik Hafiz.

He was on ventilator. There were 6 needles tercucuk kat badan dia untuk masuk air and ubat-ubat and one tube through his nose to his stomach for milk..huhu..Ibu mana tak sayu tgk anak dalam keadaan mcm ni. But I really thank Allah as everything was just in time. We reached KMC before he got critical, and we got the bed in HTAA also in time and immediately when he reached the ICU, four doctors attended to him. Alhamdulillah.

In order for me to stay strong, I really need to focus at one moment at a time. Meaning tgk progress dia from time to time and hold on to even the slightest sign of recovery. And of course keyakinan atas pertolongan Allah. I need to force all sort of positive thoughts and words into my mind. This was when I really need to believe that doa seoarang ibu untuk anaknya sangat makbul. But at the same time I need tell myself, I can only give my best in my prayers and other amalan but if Allah decide to take Adik Hafiz away, I also must prepare for it, maksudnya kena redha dengan takdir Allah

The first day Adik Hafiz in ICU was quite blur to me except for yang masa mula-mula kami sampai and what the doctor's said. There were families and friends came to the hospital to give any kind of support to us.My in laws were the first to come, and taking care Abg Hakim. Then came my parents all the way from Machang. Pastu adik beradik and bapak and mak saudara all the way from KL. Jiran-jiran, kawan-kawan kerja including bosses pun dtg utk bagi kata-kata semangat.Ada yang saya tak sempat jumpa pun but I was really touched by the supports and kind prayers.

Kat ICU it's not like you can be at your baby's bedside all the time. Most of the time I'm in the mother's room. we were not allowed to visit our baby when the doctors were doing the rounds and treatment. Kejap-kejap je oleh tengok or sometimes jenguk je from pintu bilik. Masuk pun there is nothing you can do apart from cakap2 ngan dia and belai-belai badan dia sikit.

Adik hafiz diberi ubat tido so that dia tak terjaga and meronta-ronta utk cabut wayar yang berselirat kat badan dia. But sometimes when I was near him, he will sense my presence and terjaga and angkat tangan mintak dukung but of course I can't grant his wish.Sedih memang sedih.. kadang2 air mata tu senang je mengalir bila duduk kat dia.. Tapi ustaz yang lawat kitorng masa kat ICU kata, Ibu kena kuat sebab anak dapat semangat dari ibu. Kalau ibu lemah dan putus asa, anak akan hilang semangat untuk fight for survivor.

As nothing much I can do kat ICU to and of course I could think about anything else but my poor baby, masa tu ler start mencari doa-doa syifak untuk dihafal dan dibaca as much as I can.Alhamdulillah masa tu dah pakai smart phone, so everything kat hujung jari.Umi suruh baca Yasin byk2 and I did that also, everyday after solat subuh and other free time. My friend Lyna Noh shared her experience masa anak dia masuk NICU and advised me to imagine my baby's face masa baca Al-Fatihah dalam solat and I did that also.

By the way, Adik Hafiz was diagnosed with severe pneumonia. Since secara luaran dia nampak perfectly heatlthy even with the wires all over his body and the ventilator tube kept his mounth opened all the time, Ustaz sarankan saya baca ayat from surah Al- Isra' Ayat 40-55, sekurang-kurangnya 3 kali sehari. Ustaz kata ni mcm ubat jugak, kena cukup dos which is 3 times a day. Ayat ni untuk penyakit dalaman, penyakit dalam dada. Semasa baca ayat2 ni disarankan usap dada pesakit. I did that everyday, faithfully dgn harapan yang menggunung Allah sembuhkan Adik Hafiz secepat mungkin.

Days gone by, Adik Hafiz was on ventilator for 4 days. Since Adik Hafiz was still breastfeeding that time, I continuously pump and stock up EBM for him. In situation like this, EBM will be the best and perfect food for him. I pumped every 3-4 hours and handover the milk to the nurses for them to keep in the fridge and feed Adik Hafiz later.During pumping session I usually baca selawat syifa' dan kadang2 surah Yasin. Mudah-mudahan berkat ayat2 tersebut dapat membantu adik Hafiz lawan penyakit dia dengan izin Allah.

The nurses were amazed when I gave them 2 bottles of EBM every 3-4 hours sampai seorang nurse pernah kata sambil tersenyum, ' Banyak yea susu awak, dah nak penuh dah fridge kat belakang tu dgn susu awak'.
I just replied with Alhamdulillah, rezeki.

Only on the 3rd day Adik hafiz was allowed to be fed with milk and only through the tube into his stomach. I was really excited and thankful that he was allowed to be fed, even though only  30ml for a start. Ini menandakan his was getting better. Mula2 nurse bagi adik Hafiz minum ikut tube, then after a few feeding nurse offer untuk saya buat sendiri.I was really happy dapat bagi adik hafiz susu sendiri even though not directly. Sebelum dia dapat minum susu saya bagi dia air zamzam, sikit-sikit utk basahkan mulut dan tekak dia coz I know tekak dia mesti sgt kering as berhari-hari mulut dia terbuka dalam aircond pulak tu.

Hubby was really supportive throughout these time, ulang alik bawak barang keperluan saya, tengok Abang Hakim kat rumah, layan sedara mara dan sahabat2 yang dtg melawat. Father's are not allowed to stay in the ICU ward at night but Hubby wanted to be closed to his son. So dia tidur je atas kerusi depan bilik ICU tu. Bila mak guard datang mintak dia keluar, he will sleep outside or kalau sejuk sangat dan banyak nyamuk he will sleep in the car. Kasih ayahanda.

On day 4 in ICU, adik Hafiz was strong enough to breath on his own and the nurses took off the ventilatorand moved him outside the room.That means I can now sleep by his bed side. Gembira sangat rasanya time tu.Adik Hafiz's recovery rate was quite fast as the next day we were transferred to wad kanak2.

2 days in wad kanak2 HTAA we requested to transfer back to KMC to complete the antibiotic dose and monitoring period. HTAA's service was superb but Adik Hafiz could not sleep kat dalam was tu sebab the ward was congested and setiap masa ada je budak nangis dan merauang-raung. He was also traumatized dan akan nangis bila tengok doctors and nurses. Mana taknya, dia dah associate them with injections and needles which were of course very painful. But then that was needed to be done to treat him. We spent another 2 days in KMC (Kuantan Medical Center) and then Adik hafiz was discharged for home monitoring and treatment.

Hafiz kat KMC, one day before discharge

Even though it was the most horrified moment, we felt blessed in many ways. First of all, we felt closer to Allah than ever.Satu-satunya pergantungan pada Allah subhanawataala. Masa ni dapat perbanyakkan kan ibadah dan setiap amal dan doa dapat dilakukan dgn bersungguh-sungguh dan sepenuh hati.Saya kini yakin yang bila kita ditimpa kesusahan atau musibah, Allah tgh menguji kita. Kenapa Allah uji kita, sebab dia sayangkan kita kerana dengan ujian ini lah kita akan berusaha menjadi lebih dekat dengan Allah. Ujian juga adalah penghapus dosa dan penambah pahala bagi orang2 yang sabar dan redha.

Sabar dan redha tak bermaksud kita duduk tunggu tanpa buat apa2 yea. Kita kena usaha dan gandakan doa sambil sabar menunggu pertolongan Allah tanpa berputus asa. But if things does not turn out as we hope dalam doa kita, percaya lah itu adalah yang terbaik buat kita walaupun sangat pahit untuk kita lalui masa tu.

Byk ayat2 dan zikir- zikir syifa' yang saya dapat belajar dan amalkan dan dapat lihat kesannya masa dilanda ujian ini. But these words are meaningless without faith, so yang paling kena yakin dengan kekuasaan Allah dan istiqamah. Ni saya list balik ayat2 dan amalan yang dianjurkan baca dan buat masa sakit ( tak kira lah utk diri sendiri atau org lain), mudah-mudahan Allah memberi kesembuhan:

Ayat2 Amalan untuk Minta Kesembuhan

1. Doa Nabi Yunus
2. Selawat Syifa'
3. Ayat-ayat syifa'
4. Yasin baca lepas subuh
5. Bykkan sedekah dengan niat mintak Allah sembuhkan penyakit
6. Everytime solat, Al-Fatihah yang dibaca disedekahkan pada yang sakit
7. Solat hajat banyak-banyak
8. Baca ayat 40-55 surah Al- Isra' tiga kali sehari sambil pegang dada org yang sakit bg penyakit dalaman
9. Ucap Ya Salam sebanyak 136 kali 
10. UcapYa Naafi' seanyak mungkin
11. Nazar sedekah pada anak yatim or orang miskin kalau anak sembuh

Ingat, kena istiqamah, tawakkal dan yakin dengan pertolongan Allah swt.

Secondly,  we became stronger after gone through this experience. We found our strength from families and friends yang sangat2 prihatin dan tak putus-putus memberi semangat dan sentiasa doakan kami. We could not thank you enough. Jazakumullahu Khairan Kathira.

Third, perception kami pada service hospital kerajaan totally changed after adik Hafiz masuk ICU. Actually the service is superb, the doctors and nurses are really dedicated and committed, ikhlas bekerja and they have big hearts.Maybe service yang dekat klinik or kecemasan need some improvement but once your are warded, you'll get full attention. Semoga Allah membalas jasa mereka dengan sebaik-baik balasan di dunia dan akhirat.

Fouth, kat dalam wad kita akan jumpa macam2 orang. dan sepanjang saya duduk kat mother's room kat ICU tu, I met a lot of strong mothers. For example Kak Sofia, which I mentioned in my ealier entry. She's from Pekan. Anak 7 org, only her husband yang kerje. Her daugther was admitted to ICU before Raya and diorng memang beraya kat hospital je lah. Anak kak Sofia was warded for almost 1 month and the doctor said every vital organ in her dautghter's body already deteriorated. Most of the time dia sorang2 kat hospital as her husband have to work and took care of other 6 children. Dan family dia susah yang tahap layak terima zakat. But dia sekali pun tak pernah patah semangat, always positive, she even boleh bagi semangat to other mums. Saya memang respect dan kagum dengan Kak Sofia. Rahsia dia, pergantungan dia kepada Allah sgt kuat, dan dia tak biarkan faktor2 luar mempengaruhi dia. Until now I keep in touch with her.

I also watch a mother lost her son. Her son was born prematured and had lung infection, after almost a month on ventilator, Allah took him back. Dan ada orang Asli jugak yang datang jaga anak dia, I could not remember dari mana but she came sehelai sepinggang and her husband only came 3 days later. We did what we can to help her, i.e. gave her some clothes and money.

Pengalaman ini menyedarkan saya yang ramai lagi orang susah kat luar sana yang memerlukan pertolongan kita. I am very thankful with whatever Allah gave my and my family sebab Alhamdulillah, hidup kami jauh lebih senang dari mereka walaupun kami bukan kaya raya.

All in all it was really a humbling experience which I never forget. It has made me stronger, more matured and more thankful to Allah and everybody around me.

And one costly lesson learnt we get from this experience is never go to General Physician (doctor klinik biasa) when your baby ada batuk, selsema and later demam panas. Please, please, please immediately bawak jumpa specialist - pakar kanak2. High chances that doctor biasa takleh detect that anak penyakit anak kita dah start teruk.

Tapi pape pun, Alhamdulillah, adik Hafiz recovered totally, no observable effect now mcm apa yang doktor cakap masa mula2 masuk ICU tu. Syukur sangat2. He is a very healthy boy who's growing up dengan ceria dan aktif.. and amazingly berat dia tak turun sgt pun masa warded tu..hehe.. mmg budak yang semangat :)

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